When you make the decision to have a BA, there’s always someone who isn’t supportive. Be that your parents, your partner and even your friends. Cosmetic surgery is seen as such a ‘taboo’ in this day and age that someone will always have a negative/ judgmental opinion.
I dealt with this personally in two different forms so i feel like i have a good handle on dealing with it, and wanted to share my tips and experience with you guys!
The first time i told my mum i was getting a breast augmentation she FREAKED out. She was not impressed at all. She was so angry with me and kept asking me why… why would i do that to myself? Why did i feel the need? What was wrong with what i was born with? And she actually stormed out the house and went for a drive because she was so annoyed. She eventually came round but it took me a few days to convince her, and i don’t actually think she thought i would go ahead with it until i had paid off my final balance.
My second experience with someone being negative/judgmental was with a friend of mine. Leading up to my surgery i can remember her seeming fine for the most part… but she did try and ‘school’ me so to speak on certain things to do with BA. She thought she knew a lot about it, more than me, and she used to always try and make me feel like i didn’t really know what i was talking about when i would speak about my upcoming appointments and surgery related things. The worst part came once i was recovering. The first incident of her being negative was when i was a few weeks post op and the swelling had finally started to go down. Her words were ‘oh good i thought they looked far too big when i saw you the other week’. I brushed it off. Then gradually it became a recurring thing. Every time we would go out, be it the two of us or with others, she would make a little dig about my boobs. If someone said something nice about my new chest, she would always put me down in front of them, and say things like ‘yeah but they’re fake’ ‘they look fake though’ ‘you can tell they’re fake’. And would put me down about them a lot. I used to hate it. It would really get to me. When you’ve had an insecurity about something for so long, and you finally get it sorted, and someone tries to make you feel insecure again, believe me it’s hard not to. This continued for a looooong time, I’m talking at least a year, and still the occasional jibe now.
The first thing you need to do in these situations is ask yourself why are they reacting like this?!
My mum’s reasons for reacting this way stem from the fact that my Aunt, her sister, at this time, had had breast cancer once before and my mum didn’t know much about the surgery. She just assumed that if you start messing around with your breasts you’re more likely to do some damage and potentially increase the risk. The first thing I did with my mum was I gave her my information booklet on Breadt Augmentation for her to read through. It had so much information in it… Various risk factors, the procedure variations, information about potential complications, and statistics about complications, what the process is with implants and breast checking eg mammograms, checking your breasts, that kind of thing. The problem with my mum was that she was uneducated in this, as most people are, and her anger and reaction came from a place of worry. She was worried for me. After reading through the booklet and talking to me more about it and finding out information, she admitted she felt a lot better about it, I also asked her to accompany me to my surgeon appointment to meet him. This helped an awful lot. Sometimes people don’t know how to react because they don’t know much about breast augmentations. People here the words boob job and immediately assume you’re going to get absolutely massive implants and theyre going to look super fake or that you’re going to ruin your boobs and give yourself potential problems . When actually a lot of the time most people’s implants are well in proportion with their body and I have read so many stories online from women saying their boob job saved their lives because it actually made them check their breasts more frequently and they detected lumps sooner than they would have pre BA.
If you have this issue. Try what I did! Give the person a booklet, give them lots of information, ask them what they’re biggest objection to your surgery is and try and talk it over with then. I guarantee a lot of the time it will stem from them being worried for you.
My friend however was a little different. This was jealousy I was dealing with. Jealousy because previously she was the one with the boobs, not massive but a lot bigger than my bee stings haha!! And in me getting implants it meant I received a lot of attention from both the girls and the lads in our friendship group. A lot of the attention was due to the fact that nobody we knew had implants. So this was new territory for everyone, and boy did I get all of the questions. This is what caused the jealousy in my friend. Because the focus was on me and my breasts, she felt that she needed to put them down to remind everyone that she also had boobs and ‘hers were real’. Initially I started to think, oh my god they do look fake, they are too hard, they’re not real boobs, but the bottom line was this no matter what anyone said. I did this for ME. Nobody else. ME. So what if someone didn’t like my boobs, I did!! In fact I loved them. And all the snide remarks and little comments against them were just her own insecurities coming out. And all it did was make her look jealous and jealousy is an ugly trait. Nobody else cared that my boobs were fake, everyone else said they looked amazing and a lot of my friends actually said they wanted theirs done after seeing mine.
If someone is being bitchy towards your surgery. It’s usually jealousy. Because they know you’re going to have AWESOME new boobs and they’re not. Just think of it like I did. Be confident. And if someone continues to put you down for it. Call them out on it. I did. And she said she didn’t even realise she was doing it and was sorry for making me feel that way. I don’t particularly believe this to be 100% true… I think she knew exactly when she was doing it but calling someone out on something usually makes them keep quiet about it afterwards. Don’t let anyone try and put you down out of jealousy. It’s an ugly trait and they’re the ones who end up looking the villain.
I really hope this post helps some of you. I get a lot of emails from people telling me someone in their life isn’t being supportive, so I thought this post would be a good way to show you all that I dealt with this too. Not everyone is going to love the idea of your surgery. But the main thing in all of this is that you remember why you’re doing it. You’re beautiful and don’t let anyone try and make you feel bad for this. Everyone deserves to feel confident and happy.
If you have any questions or want to speak to me further about this issue please please please contact me on my email address firstname.lastname@example.org
I love hearing from you and if this post helps even one person then I consider that a job well done.
As always. Love to everyone of you.