Sorry but I want this blog to be as honest as possible. And that means not just sharing good feelings.
I mentioned in this mornings post that I was feeling a bit crappy because of my lack of support coming from my friends.
And all day it’s been bubbling up inside me and I’m finally crying.
It’s not just the lack of support. It’s everything. Nerves are kicking in and I’m scared. To put it plainly. I’m really really scared. I know it’s an operation that is done a lot and I’m going to be fine. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling anxious. Or scared. Which is exactly how I feel now. And without the support network I thought I had. It’s all a bit overwhelming.
I don’t know if this is normal. Or not. What even is normal?! And this is in no way me regretting my decision to have this done because I can’t wait.
I’m just scared.
I think that often when people aren’t as affected by situations as you would be, they find it very hard to see where you’re coming from. And why you’re so scared or upset etc. Which sucks. Massively.
I just want a massive cuddle and for someone to take my mind off it for the night. But it’s just not gonna happen as I don’t have plans and ‘boyfriend’ is busy and is being a bit stubborn, don’t think he actually realises how upset I am, I’m not usually emotional at all and I never cry so when I say. I’m crying. He never ever believes me. And is probably picturing me sat at home fine just having a small worry.
I just feel like crap. And I can’t wait for this feeling to go away and be replaced by overwhelming happiness that it’s finally all done and I’ve got my boobs.
Thanks for listening. Even if you don’t care haha. I still appreciate the clicks and views xxxxxx